Life's Lessons

Gossip & Rumors
SITUATION: I heard that there is some false information about me going around here in Vancouver. I don't know those who talked about me. And I only heard about the rumor when a good friend brought it out into the open in an effort to protect me. Needless to say, I was very angry and hurt when I heard about the rumor. I thought to myself, "How can people talk and make presumptions without even knowing me?" Yet, because I don't know these people, I cannot confront anyone. For two nights, I cried bitterly to God, begging for vindication. Very rarely do I ever feel so powerless... rarely do I ever feel so incapable of handling something. I know that these people do not have ill intentions towards me and probably have no idea the impact of their seemingly insignificant words. This is not the first time there have been false rumors about me. And in the scope of bad things to say about someone, this is not the worse. Yet, why am I so upset? I think it's because I'm trying to fit into a new place and such gossip makes it hard when I don't even have a clean slate on which to start.
LESSONS: (1) Being powerless is a reminder that without God, I have no deliverance. (2) Even words spoken with no ill intent can be hurtful. Therefore, (3) I ought to be extra careful how I speak about and speak to other people.

When Trust is Broken
SITUATION: In the past, my friend Dillon (name changed to protect identity) had hurt me. I am still friends with him and we're actually pretty good friends now. However, Dillon asked me recently, "Do you fully trust me?" It was then that I realized that I didn't actually trust him as much as I thought I did. In the back of my mind, I am always thinking, "Will I get hurt again?" I felt terrible that I was unable to answer in the affirmative. I usually trust people very easily at the beginning. But when they break that trust, it's hard for me to trust them again, no matter how much they try to prove themselves again. And it's even worse when I feel that the cause of hurt was intentional. So, after thinking and praying this through, I realized that if Dillon continues to be a good friend to me, the problem is no longer for him to fix. It is mine.
LESSONS: (1) It's normal and appropriate to not fully trust someone right away after the trust has been broken. (2) But as God entrusts me even after I've hurt Him so many times, I need to learn to trust others as well. (3) And as God has been willing to stick by my side even after I've hurt Him (often intentionally), I need to stick by my friends even after they've hurt me. (4) It's time for me to re-evaluate why I've been holding several friends at arm's length and pray for restoration.

Surprise Friendships
SITUATION: Since making the decision to come to Regent College and actually moving to Vancouver, I've faced many difficulties. But they don't surpass the blessings I've received. And one of those many blessings is that of friendship. I already have a handful of really, really good friends from LA with whom I have been close for several years. Therefore, I never made much effort in LA to make new friends. In fact, I don't think I even know how to make friends. And that was one of my greatest fears in moving to Vancouver. Yet God has provided. Even though she is in LA, I have actually found a new good friend in Betty. Her sincerity and brilliant humor have been a comfort and a joy to me. As for Vancouver, Soo has been a blessing to me. She's silly, pragmatic, principled and very passionate about God. Just being around her has been encouraging and inspirational. And there are several other people here in Vancouver with whom God is helping me to learn to develop friendships.
LESSONS: (1) I need friends. (2) Even in my pathetic inability to make friends, God provides. (3) There is nothing quite like getting to know and learning from Godly women.