Life's Lessons

Gossip & Rumors
SITUATION: I heard that there is some false information about me going around here in Vancouver. I don't know those who talked about me. And I only heard about the rumor when a good friend brought it out into the open in an effort to protect me. Needless to say, I was very angry and hurt when I heard about the rumor. I thought to myself, "How can people talk and make presumptions without even knowing me?" Yet, because I don't know these people, I cannot confront anyone. For two nights, I cried bitterly to God, begging for vindication. Very rarely do I ever feel so powerless... rarely do I ever feel so incapable of handling something. I know that these people do not have ill intentions towards me and probably have no idea the impact of their seemingly insignificant words. This is not the first time there have been false rumors about me. And in the scope of bad things to say about someone, this is not the worse. Yet, why am I so upset? I think it's because I'm trying to fit into a new place and such gossip makes it hard when I don't even have a clean slate on which to start.
LESSONS: (1) Being powerless is a reminder that without God, I have no deliverance. (2) Even words spoken with no ill intent can be hurtful. Therefore, (3) I ought to be extra careful how I speak about and speak to other people.

When Trust is Broken
SITUATION: In the past, my friend Dillon (name changed to protect identity) had hurt me. I am still friends with him and we're actually pretty good friends now. However, Dillon asked me recently, "Do you fully trust me?" It was then that I realized that I didn't actually trust him as much as I thought I did. In the back of my mind, I am always thinking, "Will I get hurt again?" I felt terrible that I was unable to answer in the affirmative. I usually trust people very easily at the beginning. But when they break that trust, it's hard for me to trust them again, no matter how much they try to prove themselves again. And it's even worse when I feel that the cause of hurt was intentional. So, after thinking and praying this through, I realized that if Dillon continues to be a good friend to me, the problem is no longer for him to fix. It is mine.
LESSONS: (1) It's normal and appropriate to not fully trust someone right away after the trust has been broken. (2) But as God entrusts me even after I've hurt Him so many times, I need to learn to trust others as well. (3) And as God has been willing to stick by my side even after I've hurt Him (often intentionally), I need to stick by my friends even after they've hurt me. (4) It's time for me to re-evaluate why I've been holding several friends at arm's length and pray for restoration.

Surprise Friendships
SITUATION: Since making the decision to come to Regent College and actually moving to Vancouver, I've faced many difficulties. But they don't surpass the blessings I've received. And one of those many blessings is that of friendship. I already have a handful of really, really good friends from LA with whom I have been close for several years. Therefore, I never made much effort in LA to make new friends. In fact, I don't think I even know how to make friends. And that was one of my greatest fears in moving to Vancouver. Yet God has provided. Even though she is in LA, I have actually found a new good friend in Betty. Her sincerity and brilliant humor have been a comfort and a joy to me. As for Vancouver, Soo has been a blessing to me. She's silly, pragmatic, principled and very passionate about God. Just being around her has been encouraging and inspirational. And there are several other people here in Vancouver with whom God is helping me to learn to develop friendships.
LESSONS: (1) I need friends. (2) Even in my pathetic inability to make friends, God provides. (3) There is nothing quite like getting to know and learning from Godly women.

I'll Be Home for Christmas... earlier!

December 14th to January 12th.

I'll Be Home for Christmas!

December 18th to January 12th.

Don't-See Movie

I saw Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven last week for class... and it was terrible. Except for Orlando Bloom being rather good-looking, I saw few other redeeming aspects about the film. It is full of action, special effects and gore, but lacks in substance and plot. It's not believable and tries too hard to be politically correct (thus compromising the storyline).

If you've already seen this movie, I'm curious what you thought about it. If you haven't seen it, don't bother.

Poppies Are in Full Bloom

Since late October, I've been seeing poppies pinned to people's lapels. At first, I thought, "How cute. Someone must be making these poppies." Then, it dawned upon me that they must have some sort of significance.

Instead of quietly looking this up on the internet, I embarrassed myself by asking someone. I received a strange look as if the word "Ignorant" had suddenly been tattooed across my forehead. However, I was kindly (almost patronizingly) told that the poppies were symbolic of Canada's upcoming Remembrance Day (November 11).

But how did they come about? And why? That's when I decided that I better use the technology God so graciously gave me... Wikipedia! This is what Wikipedia has to say about the poppies:

The poppy of wartime remembrance is the red corn poppy, Papaver rhoeas. This poppy is a common weed in Europe and is found in many locations, including Flanders Fields. This is because the corn poppy was one of the only plants that grew on the battlefield. It thrives in disturbed soil, which was abundant on the battlefield due to intensive bombing. During the few weeks the plant blossomed, the battlefield was colored blood red, not just from the red flower that grew in great numbers but also from the actual blood of the dead soldiers and civilians that lay scattered and untended to on the otherwise barren battlegrounds. Thus the plant became a symbol for the dead World War I soldiers.

I also found a beautiful poem written by Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae for his friend, Lieutenant Alexis Helmer, who died during World War I.

IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

It made me think about Veterans Day in America (primarily in Los Angeles). Yes, we claim to support our soldiers and to remember those who died on the battlefield protecting our freedom. Yet, do we really? Or do we merely celebrate the day because there is no work/school, there are sales at the mall or there is an opportunity to take a weekend vacation? Have we forgotten our armed forces? Have we forgotten the men and women who put their lives on the line everyday so that we can enjoy our liberty?

By no means am I saying that we ought to adopt the symbolism of the poppy flowers (since U.S. soldiers were not on Flanders Fields), but I think we definitely should be more supportive of our soldiers. Why do we cry out against their efforts? Why do we belittle their lives? God has blessed us immensely with these brave men and women, and we ought to lift them up in prayer instead of rallying against them.

I may be physically in Canada at the moment, but I am American at heart.

Will you join me (wherever you may be) on November 11 as I kneel down to pray for our soldiers?

Father-Child Moments

There's something about father-child moments

that always bring a smile and a tear.

During a study break this afternoon, I watched the movie A Walk to Remember. It is a love story of a young couple, and it is a touching storyline. But I was most emotional during moments between Jamie and her dad, and between Landon and his dad. The fathers were not perfect and were not always good at showing love, but when the father and child saw eye-to-eye on matters of the heart, I couldn't help but smile and shed a few tears at the same time.

Perhaps it's nostalgia. Perhaps it's knowing that I'll never get to live those moments.

I will always miss my dad. And I will always long for more memories... more father-daughter moments. Like a little girl, I will always dream of having my dad walk me down the aisle. But in my heart, I know that I am blessed because I had such a wonderful father. Our time together was a mere 15 years, but the simple memories are branded in my heart forever.

Although I want to say that God took my dad away too soon, I know that it is not true. God took him in His perfect timing. I was not left fatherless. God is my Father, and I know with full certainty that He will never forsake me (Joshua 1:5) and will be with me wherever I go (Joshua 1:9).

Thank you, Dad, for being such a great father.
Thanks for the memories.

Thank you, God, for being my Father. Amen.

Must-See Movie

I just saw an awesome film for class last night. I highly recommend it to everyone (except maybe little kids). It's an old movie, but it's so good. I won't dwell on the details, but you should definitely try to see it. It's so powerful.

Roland Joffé's The Mission.

For me to recommend a movie is a HUGE deal. I'm not a movie buff. In fact, I have a tendency to fall asleep during movies, but I stayed wide awake for this entire movie (even though I was exhausted). If anyone sees it or has already seen it, I would love to hear your comments on it.