Today, I jokingly told a guy at school that he's not a good friend. He sincerely responded by saying, "I might not know how to be a good friend, but I will make a good boyfriend to someone one day."
This got me thinking... Is it possible for someone to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse if he/she does not first know how to be a good friend (to people, not specifically to the one person)? Is there a biblical principle here from which we can learn?
What do you think?
4 comments:
I don't think it's possible at all. When the "crush" love dies in a marriage, and hard times hit that rock the romance, at the core MUST be a solid friendship that will carry you through. When the friendship dies, so does the marriage.
Not sure there is a biblical reference for this... for that I defer to my best friend! ;-) Ask him when you see him next.
I agree with Shari. People who know how to be good friends tend to make good spouses. A good friendship is at the basis of a good marriage.
Although the words "courtship" and "dating" are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first thing to realize is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). We are told (by society) to date around as much as we want, going through as many people as possible. Instead, we should discover what kind of person we are getting into a relationship with before making that commitment. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8), and if they share the same desire to be as Christ was (Philippians 2:5). Why is this important in finding a partner? A Christian person should be careful not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this could weaken your relationship with Christ, or compromise your morals and standards.
When one is in a committed relationship with someone, it is important to remember to love the Lord above anyone else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that the other person is your "everything" or the most important thing in your life is idolatry, which is a sin (Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:5). Also, do not defile your body by having pre-marital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13, 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as you love yourself (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or marriage relationship as well. Following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh, which should be permanent, inseparable (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5).
Hey, give the dude a break! He was just trying to come up with something smarter and better to say, not make some deep theological statement.
Taking the long view on that statement, I think it could be true...someday is...SOMEDAY. So he might be a terrible friend now, but he'll learn to be better and then a good boyfriend. Someday...
Biblical principle? "Do unto others as you would have done to you"
-Jessman
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